Clap Your Hands
By Tim Mack, Sat Dec 10th

Did anyone ever notice that "Clap Your Hands" commercial on TV?I'm just so glad its finaly off the air. I just couldn't watchthe commercial without cracking up.

It makes me laugh because of Singapore. One day I got into a cabwith two of my friends, and one of my friends had a badbackache, so he told the Singapore Cab driver to take ussomewhere where you could get a good back rub.

So the driver takes us to this place thats way of the beatentrack, and then points at a staircase to go up. So we walk upthis staircase, and we see this Lady standing there, and thereis only one table.

She motions us to sit down, and then she brings us all a beer.

Then she stands next to the table and says. "What can I do foryou?"

My friend explains to her that. "The Cab driver said you couldget a good back rub here."

She smiles and says yes. "We have the best here."

Then she claps her hands and a curtain opens. The open curtainreveals a whole bunch of women standing there in skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No not that."

Then she claps her hands, and another curtain opens up revealingmore women in skimpy outfits.

Then my friend says. "My back aches, thats all, I have on mymind."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtainnumber one start to take off their skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtainnumber two start taking all their skimpy outfits off.

Then I said to her. "You don't understand, my friend only camehere for a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and this totaly naked womenjumps up on the table and starts wrapping her thighs around myneck.

I said. "No, back rub, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again. "And says okay back rub."

I said. "Yes, back rub."

Then she claps her hands again and the woman starts taking myshirt off.

I started to say to her that. "Its my friend that wanted theback rub and not me."

But I could see she was ready to clap her hands again. So, Ijust said. "Okay." Affraid of what would happen next if sheclaped her hands again.

So now this woman is giving me a back rub, and my friend says tothe Lady. "What about the two of us?

So of course she claps her hands again, and one woman rushesover, and then she claps her hands again, and another womanrushes over. Then the Lady claps again, and the woman that wasrubing my back walks away.

So, I'm thinking good. "The Lady has everything figured out atlast."

So I gulp down the rest of my beer, thinking that my friendswill just get their back rub now, and then we can get out ofthis strange place.

But no,

I was wrong. The Lady says to me. "Would you likeanother beer?"

I said. "Thank you, but no, I'm fine."

Then the Lady says. "Come with me."

I said. "Come with you where?"

Then she says. "You have to get the second part of your back rubnow. But I need you to lay down for it."

I said. "Why do I need to lay down for a back rup?"

She gave me a strange look and said. "Why do you have to ask somany questions?"

So then, she takes me into this room and points and says. "Layhere on your stomach."

Then she claps her hands again and before I know it a bunch ofwomen are rubing their hands all over my back.

Then after a few minutes, the Lady says to me. "Turn over onyour back."

So, I turn over and then the women start pouring all this lotionon me and then they start rubing up and down my chest. Then Ifeel one of the women lift my arms and pull them back all theway back behind my head. Then I feel some hands around my waist,and then in a split second, I feel my pants and shorts comesliding off.

Then I said. "No not this."

The Lady said. "Whats wrong?"

I said. "I don't want to have sex, just a back rub."

She says. "Okay no sex, but we can't do this with your clotheson."

I said okay. "But no sex."

As I said the words no sex, I could then feel the womenspreading my legs wide apart. Then I felt the women spreadingthe lotion and rubing it all up and down my thighs. Then thewomen turned me over on my side and started to spread and rubthe lotion all over my buttocks.

Then I heard laughing. I asked. "What are they laughing at?"

Then the Lady said. "The butterfly, they're laughing at thebutterfly on your butt."

Then the Lady asked. "Why do you have a butterfly on your butt?"

I said. "I didn't think anyone would see it there."

She kept her promise, there was no sex, but was that ever oneheck of a rub down. I just couldn't figure why they needed somany women to do the job.

When we walked out of the place at last.

I asked my friends. "Did the two of you have the same kind ofrub down?"

They both replied. "No, just our backs."

I said. "I don't get it. Why would that Lady have the women doall that to me, and only have the women rub your backs?"

One of my friends smiled and said. "She just wanted to see youwith your clothes off."

Then my other friend said. "Yeah, I think that Lady had the hotsfor you."

I guess I will really never know the real answer to thatquestion, but whatever the reason, it was a great rub down. ButI will always think of that Lady in Singapore if I see someoneclaping their hands a lot."

About the author: This segement taken from Tiffany Stone. http://www.freewebs.com/episodesofjacques/tiffanystone.htm